Opening sentence for my story.

hello readers, we are learning to write and interesting first sentence to hook our readers.

My starter sentence 'I was on roblox and got 5000 dolars'.

This is my improved second 'bang boom pew pew bam rattat , there were flashing light’s, I was so engrossed in the game'.

I think my updated sentence is more interesting.

Do you think my updated sentence better.

What I did in the last few day's

At My Oma's and Opa's house my friend Harrison came over. We had a Nerf war, it was Harrison and I vs Oma, both team's had there own base and the other team can't go into your base. If you get hit you have to wait 5 seconds and the other team can go into your base for 5 seconds. But you can shoot into they're base threw a open door or open window, you can't open the doors to they're base either. We ended up changing to play Nerf tag, so we had to tag the other player's by shooting them with the Nerf guns, you can not team up with anyone either. We also played connect 4 shot, Oma was the back board and I won both rounds. After Harrison left My Dad came and he came with one of his friends, since I have a laser strike set we played laser strike, we also played the connect 4 shot game.

My Dad and I made a Banoffee Pie.

My Dad and I made a delicious Banoffee Pie, we made the paste and the toffee, put the toffee in the paste then put some banana's in the paste. We hand made the cream and put the cream on the top of the Banoffee Pie and then put the banana's on, then grated chocolate. Since I was going to my Oma and Opa's and we didn't finish it in time I didn't get to have the pie but my Mum and Dad brought over some of some pie so I could have it.

I went on hall swell miniature trains.

Mum, Dad, Izzy and I had three rides on the trains. There were people driving boats, they were moving the sail's, which was making the wind push the boats. Someone was going for someone else's boat. We were going to play on the playground, but heaps of people were on the playground so we couldn't go on the playground, when there wasn't so many people it was to cold, so we still couldn't go on the playground. We got a sausage sizzle it was cheap and not the best sausage sizzle, it was just to fill us up.

Me and my Sister pretended to do baking.

Me and my Sister pretended to do baking, we had flour, bread, a bowl, cookie cutter's, a sieve and a cup. We mixed the bread and flour together and shaped the bread with cookie cutter's, we also sieved the flour and bread. We have started doing more pretend baking. Now we use rice instead of bread we now also have baking paper, It is heaps of fun.

I had another sleepover with my friend Samantha.

On Sunday I had an other sleepover with my friend Samantha. We made a fort, Samantha and I watched Netflix in the fort on Samantha's I pad. Oma, Samantha and I moved my bed matres under the fort, but we only moved the matres halfway. Opa came in and we moved the matres the rest of the way under the fort. Samantha and I slept in the lounge, we both told some scary stories, on the last scary storey Samantha told a funny storey. We both played roblox, we mostly played tower of hell, we played other games as well, I can't remember the other games. We both wanted to play mine craft but on mine craft it wouldn't let us join each other. Samantha and I made slime, we split the slime in half, we both made them different colours. Samantha made a golden coloured slime, but Samantha added blue food colouring and made hers a bit more green. I made my slime green, we also added glitter and I added the same glitter as Samantha.

I had a sleep over at my friends house. It was his birthday party.

I went to my friend Harrison's house, I was the first one there. There were 5 people there including me. There was Harrison, Finley, Leo.p, Jakob and I. We all slept in the lounge, we also played chubby bunny it was hard to make sure no marsh mallow's came out of your mouth, because it was funny when people said chubby bunny. In chubby bunny you have to put marshmallow's in our mouth, you can't eat any marsh mallows or your out, you have to make sure no marsh mallow's fall out of your mouth, once you put the marsh mallow in your mouth, when you put the marshmallow in your mouth you have to say chubby bunny with no marshmallow's coming out and who ever has the most in there mouth wins I came second Leo.p beat me in the game. I played on the X-box and PlayStation I played Roblox and mine craft. Some of us played hide and seek tag, when it was starting to get dark it was kind of scary since you didn't now were the taggers were. At night we told scary stories we had to stop telling, scary story's because Jakob was getting scared. We also watched the sonic movie and the dragon ball z movie, I didn't like it though I liked sonic a lot better. Harrison''s cake was a Charmander cake it was delicious. Harrison's little sister Meila new more about Pokemon then I did because Harrison had a stuffed Piplio toy and Meila new what the Pokemon was called and I didn't. For breakfast we had pancakes and we also had popcorn for a snack.